We've all had it happen at somepoint. (Unless you're a Godly stud anyway)
You meet a girl, you don't want to be too forward so you're friendly and nice...then that somehow matures into a friendship they cannot bear to break, or even risk! Now, this tends to work with either sex. However, as I'm lazy...I'll refer simply from my perspective. Ergo, I'm a guy, getting the girl.
Well fear not, life has taught me a few (kinda) foolproof methods to avoid this happening to you.
Just before we proceed though I just want to make a point. Here, and right here I'm talking about methods that will work with someone who is seeking to date. Not fuck, indulge in flings or simply already has a boyfriend.
That aside, read on. Some of this may work for you, some of it won't. Like any advice, filter and use what you can to best suit you.
1) Flirt.
You may think you were flirting, but you probably weren't. You were probably just being nice and maybe throwing in a timid joke. Try again, be honest. If you think she's looking hot. Mention it. Be casual about it though, don't open with it, just make sure that after you've made first contact you remind her that you find her attractive. It's a comment, you've made it, now forget about it. Move on. If she calls you up on that, defend yourself!
You say what you see right?
Be sarcastic, use backhanded compliments but don't focus entirely on her. Show some confidence. If you don't have any, don't date. You won't have the stomach for going through the arguments later on...
2) Don't share.
You'll never meet a woman's expectations. She will look at you, if she takes a shine to you, and will have something better than you actually are running through her head. Maybe you could surprise her, but the less they know about you, the more interesting you are.
Besides, opening up and sharing in the early stages is more friend behaviour than anything else. You don't want to be sending those signals now do you? You're not there to listen to her every whim. You may well want to, but at this point you've only the one shot. Don't blow it by listening too much, agreeing then having them find that "I can talk to you about anything!"
Obviously divulge what is needed, but don't go running your mouth just yet.
3) Disagree with her.
I'm not saying that for if she says it's black, you say white. What I mean is instead of answering yes to everything she says to you, have an actual opinion. If there are flaws to her reasoning, mention them.(Obviously gauge whether or not she is the type of person to appreciate that) You want to be interesting, and cause her to be thinking about you. Just saying yes to everything she says is a fast way to become boring quickly in her eyes. You don't have to veto every thing she says, just if you don't agree or are a bit of a bystander on a particular issue, actually think on it.
4) Be unavailable.
Are you free tonight, tomorrow, this week or now? Don't be. Men & women will forever seek the attention of those who have little to give. It's an idiosyncratic flaw in the way we work.
It is simply shocking. But it's true, the less attention you can give, the more they crave it. If she asks you if you want to meet up now or later as she's free. Let her know you're busy.
However, do plan for an alternate time to meet up.
If she does not have one, just take a rain check. Keep in touch with her, text and communicate. Don't just ignore her. Some solid advice is to actually DO something when you say you're busy. Have something to mention in passing when you see her. Hit the gym with some friends, barhop or whatever it is you have available for you to do with minimal chance of running across her.
5) Ask for HER advice on women.
We get this a lot as the friendzone guy: "What do you think about so&so?" "He seems nice doesn't he?" etc. Now to this day I'll never understand what it is some people see in others. But it's how it works. For example, I'm currently hitting way above my belt with my current girlfriend. She'll soon realise this and move on I'm sure, but until then I'm getting the best I can out of this. Don't read that as a lack of confidence, I'm just realistic about what I can achieve.
Anyway.
Ask her advice on girls you're attracted to if she asks about your advice on guys. Jealously and curiosity are two powerful motivators. Comment on what you are attracted to about them, mention that you'll be meeting up with another girl for a catch up/drinks or what not. Don't man whore it though, keep the same names/people in circulation.
Even if they are just friends, roll with it.
6) Be a dick.
I'm a dick. In the sense that I make horrible jokes, rude comments and generally have few nice things to say about anyone. However, I am playful with it, and I do know where the line is. If you don't realise that there is a line, there is no hope for you. The line is different with different people, but what I mean by the line is the limit of what people will accept.
Sarcastic humour and sexist jokes can be appealing to some, and can lead to banter and flirting...however to others it can be a source of conflict and offence.
Is she running late? Did she call or text you to let you know? Don't take it with the "It's OK I don't mind waiting for you" or "I hope the traffic clears soon" because although the former is sweet, it's very...timid.
Let her know you're waiting, tell her she shouldn't be driving in the first place being a woman and all.
Make playful comments that give her some room to respond with. Don't be aggressive. 9/10 if I attach a "=P" on the end of a text or a ";)" I get away with anything. In texting, emotes are a godsend as you have no looks to gauge or a tone of voice to listen to.
Don't be a push over, don't be soft. Girls do want someone who will care for them (Yes, some do like to be dominated but let's not get specific), they don't want someone who will be doormat and who will not offer them any stimulation.
7) Have high standards.
Then tell her them. It can easily come up. At any point in a conversation, especially if you've made a point of talking about how attractive someone else is. Other ways this line tends to come up is when you're talking about what she looks for in a guy. Once she is done you can just simply tell her a few of your preferences.
Why would this matter though? Well girls want to appreciated for everything they have to offer. They don't want to date someone who is only interested in fucking them. If she thinks you're only interested in the physical side of things, you're not going to have much of a chance.
Mention some of those traits (Don't run them off a huge list) then perhaps mention that she's lucky she meets most of them.
8) Be physically affectionate.
I'm sure you'd love to kiss and caress every inch of her body. But no, don't. Really don't. Hug her when you see her, kiss her forehead and touch her in neutral places that there is a very slim chance she will feel uncomfortable. If you're unaware of those places, her back tends to be a nice safe one. When you get to know her you'll be able to suss more out.
A lot of people thing that hugging will lead to her being too comfortable, thus being friendzoned. However that depends on the hug, and how you're doing it. Hug like a lover, hug like you care. Don't just give a timid friend-esque hug as you're actually making contact with her.
Do it properly, you'll enjoy this part anyway. You want her comfortable with being close with you, you don't want her being comfortable with stringing off a list of guys she wants to get into.
9) Sex. You have it.
Now if you don't mention sex at all, she's going to see you as an action man sooner or later. By that, I mean that she'll just assume you're either asexual or simply unable to discuss such things. Make her aware that you're sexual, and that you have your own needs by discussing likes and dislikes that can be talked about.
Don't go too far, and don't be focused and getting the point across that you want to get laid. Be subtle, make jokes out of it, jest a little.
You want her to be OK with the thought of you having sex at the very least, you want her to be able to engage the thought. If you talk about sex when it involves you and she appears disgusted, you've done something very wrong at some point.
10) You're not in love, you're infatuated. Learn the difference.
There is a serious problem with some people who have impatience and think that infatuation = love. You're attracted to them yes, and very much so. Over the course of the few weeks or days or however long it has been you're starting to feel a real connection? Yes?
Well chill, slow the fuck down. Why? Because you're sooner or later when you're in that mood going to ask her "What do you see in me?" or maybe just blurt out that you've fallen madly in love with them.
Chances are if you're not already dating, she's not really that attracted to you. Why? Because otherwise you'd be dating. What you really want is for her to realise she's attracted to you. Then that's when everything will gel together and work well.
How do you get that to happen? Well you can't force it you just have to allow for it. For the most part it's safe to assume that you're more attracted to her than she is you. So when she does start to show signals that show she is interested in you, don't pounce on them and confess your love.
Let's go geek for a moment.
It takes time to reach that level of interest. Chances are you're level 10 and she's level 4. She can't date or do anything close to that with you until she hits level 10 too. By then you may be as high as 15 but that does not matter. Wait for her to be at an appropriate level.
Don't jump the gun.
Anyway, that's all I have for you now, it was a 6am type up as I can't sleep at the moment. Shocking, I know.
Keep in mind that if you do attempt to make more out of a friendship, you do have the possibility of losing it all. Do you really want to lose a friendship for the sake of attraction?
If she's the one though (Or he), go for it. You never know how many chances you have, and this could be your last.
